Dear Yarnista,
Long time no see. I know you've had a rough go of things with several weekends in a row at home instead of being on the road. How are you holding up?
Love,
Yourself
Dear Self,
Good to hear from you! I am hanging in there. It has been exceedingly difficult to avoid the allure of airport food and cramped plane conditions, so I have once again succumbed to the siren song of the sky. I've decided that my return foray into yarny travels would be best spent on a short hop to Chicago, to visit my friends at Windy Knitty.
Does Saturday the 17th work for you? I'm attaching a flyer, in case you're interested.
Keep in touch, yo.
Love,
Yarnista
P.S. I already know I'm cuter online than in person. Got the concept well in hand, no need to rehash.
Yarnista,
What? Someone actually said that to you? Who would do that?
--S
Self,
Yes, actually, more than one person has told me that. In fact, I now get regular emails from people about the following topics:
1. My clothing choices. (More specifically, what I should wear more of, what I should buy, and what people never want to see again.)
2. What I should or should not be doing with my hair. (Barbie hair good, buns bad!)
3. Whether or not I am in the Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest person everEVEREVER in the recorded history of time.
4. People with sons, grandsons, brothers, cousins, buddies, and friends who are single and ready to mingle. Am I interested?
5. My dog is more beautiful, lovable, charming, and sweet than I am. (What does this say about me? It can't be good things. My dog is more charming? My dog who eats garbage? The one who lacks a neocortex? Am I that boring? Do I need to go away to finishing school so I can learn to make sparkling, witty -- but not too intelligent, that would be intimidating -- conversation. What?)
Most of the emails I get are actually very nice. They say things like, "Hey! I got my package in mail today, and I am in love!" So it's still a little strange when people take the time to email me to say that I need to stop wearing my hair up because I look too matronly, or that my lipstick is too dark and distracting.
I'm learning that I cannot please everyone. Someone will always dislike my clothes or my hair or my lipstick or the sound of my voice. It can't be helped.
I hope those people do not live in Chicago, because I am planning on having a good time, one in which people say, "Wow, I love your yarn!" instead of, "Dude. Call the fashion police."
Love,
Yarnista
Dear Yarnista,
Wow. That is...wow.
I can assure you that the fashion police do not live in Chicago. Only nice yarnophiles.
You're going to have fun. How can you not have fun when you spend an entire weekend surrounded with yarn?
By the way, saw these pics on your desktop...drool!
These are both bamboo cotton fingering, right?
Love how shiny this one is!
This is the cotton/rayon sport?
The bamboo cotton worsted is so incredibly soft! Pardon me while I mop up my keyboard.
Can you pick out the best stuff and save it for me?
Love,
Yourself
Dear You,
What kind of Yarnista would I be if I saved the yarn for you? That wouldn't be fair to the people who registered for the class or attended the trunk show, would it?
But yes, it is yummy.
--Yarnista
Yarnista,
You ARE cuter online than you are in person.
And you are also very mean, evil, mean, and evil. And you are not my friend.
Yourself
Self,
Grow up.
And do something with your hair.
Love,
Yarnista
P.S. But still come to Windy Knitty this Saturday. I might be able to hook you up with a little something.