...and that's why the good lord made mirrors.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 at 5:38PM
Yarnista

Said no one in this family.

Oh, a belted, buttoned vest to wear over my shirt and tie? It's perfect for a wee jaunt in the garden, love!

I would be morose too.

People. This is commercially made. 

Indeed.

Halloween is coming. Knit this sweater in lieu of an elaborately constructed haunted house. It's far scarier.

The holy grail has been located, girls. A sweater that adds 40 pounds.

You heard it here first!

You're welcome.

No one. Any age. Ever.

When you consider how many steps were taken before this hat was knit, it makes you want to leap off the nearest building.

1. Conceptualize Cookie Monster at a New Year's Eve party yarn.

2. Locate Chinese factory to make it for you.

3. Run thousands of pounds of said Cookie Monster at a New Year's Eve Party yarn.

4. Put it on a boat and sail it across the ocean.

5. Yarn store managers order it, pay for it, and make room for it on their shelves.

6. Knitter sees yarn and purchases it.

Let's stop at number six for a moment.

Knitter sees yarn and purchases it.

Let that sink in.

It happened.

7. Knitter thinks to themselves, "I shall make myself the hat of all hats! It shall look thusly!"

8. Knitter swatches and tests said yarn into the hat of all hats.

9. Knitter writes pattern for hat and pattern is edited.

You know what? I can't even go on. At least 100 people could have stopped this from happening and didn't.

Where am I, and where is this handbasket going?

I guess that answers that question.

Article originally appeared on Yarnista (http://www.yarnista.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.