Wednesday
Feb102010
Neuroses.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 7:21PM
On a scale of 1-10, how neurotic are you? Assuming that 1 is: not neurotic in the slightest, nothing makes me anxious or distressed and a 10 is: neuroses have taken over my life.
For most things in my life, I would say I'm a three. I do not live my life ruled by anxiety and neuroses, but I have a normal amount of motherly concern for my children's safety.
For a few things, I am a twelve. There are some things that absolutely drive me crazy, and I can't explain why. I think that's what makes it a neurosis, right? It's not logical or rational. It just is.
This is one of those things:
It's twisted wrong, just all wrong. Wrong wrong wrongwrongwrong.
This is a Z twist. That's ZEE, not ZED. Which is another one of my neuroses, which I'll explain later.
There are two ways to twist up a skein of yarn: one results in a Z twist, and one in an S twist. It's all based on which direction you rotate your arm in, clockwise or counter-clockwise. Clockwise is correct.
This is the wrong way. According to me. For no other reason than it just feels wrong in my hands.
This is the correct way. If you've ever received a skein of yarn from me, I can pretty much guarantee it looks like the picture below.
Ah.
See the difference?
One is correct and one is not, that's the main difference.
According to me.
Another of my neuroses -- maybe a six on the scale -- is the word zed instead of zee.
I do not feel zee is fundamentally more correct, historically speaking. Of course, zed existed first and is used in almost every other English speaking country.
Zed just sounds wrong. According to me.
My friend likes to tease me that she's going to open a store called Zed's just to grate on my nerves. If she really wanted to annoy me, she would open a yarn shop called Zed's and use the Zed twist on all of her skeins. I would be sure not to visit.
Here are a few other neuroses of mine:
1. AM Sports Radio. I can't explain why, but it sounds like static. Loud static. Hate it.
2. Top sheets. I dislike them. I use my flat sheets as bed skirts.
3. Tucked in blankets. I like my covers to move with me, and when they're tucked in, they can't.
4. Warm feet, cold ankles. I have to wear socks in my slippers, because I can't stand for my ankles to feel naked all by themselves. I am perfectly happy barefoot in the summer, though. My ankles just want my feet to be naked too.
OK, your turn to weigh in on S vs. Z twisting of the yarn. And don't leave my ankles all naked-y -- what are some of your neuroses?
Shudder.
For most things in my life, I would say I'm a three. I do not live my life ruled by anxiety and neuroses, but I have a normal amount of motherly concern for my children's safety.
For a few things, I am a twelve. There are some things that absolutely drive me crazy, and I can't explain why. I think that's what makes it a neurosis, right? It's not logical or rational. It just is.
This is one of those things:
It's twisted wrong, just all wrong. Wrong wrong wrongwrongwrong.
This is a Z twist. That's ZEE, not ZED. Which is another one of my neuroses, which I'll explain later.
There are two ways to twist up a skein of yarn: one results in a Z twist, and one in an S twist. It's all based on which direction you rotate your arm in, clockwise or counter-clockwise. Clockwise is correct.
This is the wrong way. According to me. For no other reason than it just feels wrong in my hands.
This is the correct way. If you've ever received a skein of yarn from me, I can pretty much guarantee it looks like the picture below.
Ah.
See the difference?
One is correct and one is not, that's the main difference.
According to me.
Another of my neuroses -- maybe a six on the scale -- is the word zed instead of zee.
I do not feel zee is fundamentally more correct, historically speaking. Of course, zed existed first and is used in almost every other English speaking country.
Zed just sounds wrong. According to me.
My friend likes to tease me that she's going to open a store called Zed's just to grate on my nerves. If she really wanted to annoy me, she would open a yarn shop called Zed's and use the Zed twist on all of her skeins. I would be sure not to visit.
Here are a few other neuroses of mine:
1. AM Sports Radio. I can't explain why, but it sounds like static. Loud static. Hate it.
2. Top sheets. I dislike them. I use my flat sheets as bed skirts.
3. Tucked in blankets. I like my covers to move with me, and when they're tucked in, they can't.
4. Warm feet, cold ankles. I have to wear socks in my slippers, because I can't stand for my ankles to feel naked all by themselves. I am perfectly happy barefoot in the summer, though. My ankles just want my feet to be naked too.
OK, your turn to weigh in on S vs. Z twisting of the yarn. And don't leave my ankles all naked-y -- what are some of your neuroses?
Shudder.
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Reader Comments (35)
i won't share my neuroses. there are many, and i am heavily medicated to try to control them.
i will, however, share the fact that i just had to wipe a puddle of drool off my keyboard. no matter how you twist it, that yarn is stunning!
The toilet paper must be over. No execptions! Also I think that curtains must be closed when you leave a room. The bed must be made before you leave the room (after sleeping all night of course LOL!) Don't move my stuff, I put everything where it is for a reason. If you move it, even a quarter turn, I will notice and it will be bad. I also have to go to the bathroom before going ANYWHERE, even if I just went I have to go right before I leave. You never know when you will find another bathroom-this could be your LAST chance! :)
Oh and Jennifer I hate when a server says they are "Going to take care of you tonight." Huh! Are you planning to kill me? Come home with me and do my laundry (my way of course)? Just serve my food and say that you are serving my food.
Ahh...but zed is just so much more melodious, no? I still say I should open "Zed's House of Flavourful Poutine". It would be a great hit! ;)
Its "zed". Period. ;-)
I'm chronically early....drives me nuts when people are late. I wear socks in my slippers too. I'm neurotic about manners and treating people nicely...I'm so polite, it hurts (or so I've been told). Can't think of much else at the moment, but I'm sure there is more. Much more.
People changing my toilet paper bugs me. ;-) It's my house, please leave the bathroom as you found it... unless you want to clean it. Then you may do so and you can change the toilet paper roll all you want, no problem. Re-roll the toilet paper if you want.
Grammar. Proper grammar is there for a reason.
Telling my kid to do something more than three times. I already gave him three times! What more does he want? Just do it, Sweetie.
Judging people and things by their looks. I had the best paraprofessional who wore flowing dresses and impossible high heels half the time. As long as she could do her job, I didn't care. Her initial thought of me was that I was a prude. I'm so not a prude. We were best friends for a long time. I moved and she moved and we lost touch but I still love her.
Treating animals as if they like being the "Best in Show". I bet if you ask them, they wouldn't care. Who wants to live their life chasing around a tiny piece of chicken? Get your own life, don't take your pet's.
As for the dishwasher. I'll let ya'll know when I get to use one. I'm the only dishwasher in this house. Anyone who wants to do my dishes can stack them as they please. They can even dry them and put them away wherever they want. I love a person who cleans my house.
Now, how many grammatical errors have I in this post?
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