Things that I wish for.
Monday, October 4, 2010 at 9:14AM Today, as I sit in the Chicago airport on a four hour layover after waking up at 3:30 in the morning to make it here, there are several things that I wish for.
These are not important things, perse. These are not things like world peace and the end of polio. These are just little things that I wish for sometimes, like when I'm sitting in the airport for four hours.
1. Airport sleeping compartments. What I wouldn't give for a little privacy and a bed right now. Something like the sleeping compartments on a train. You pay a little money, you get to use the sleeping compartment for four hours. I could take a nap. I could read. I could alternate between napping and reading and watching a movie on my computer in peace.
I cannot sleep sitting up -- can you sleep sitting up?
2. More leg room. Not just on planes, although that is very important. But more legroom, generally speaking. More legroom in the world. Who wants their legs to be smushed up near their collarbones? Clavicles and patellas were designed to be far apart. This is nature's intention. Why are we trying to defy the laws of nature?
Nothing good will come of it, I can assure you of that.
3. The Pneumatic Yarn Tube. Why isn't this built yet? I demand to know exactly what my tax dollars are going towards, if not a PYT? That's it, I'm writing a letter.
"Dear Barack Obama," my letter will say.
"I know being the president of the United States is a difficult job. Half the people in the world hate you, and the other half love you. I know there are entire cable networks devoted to little but discussing how you're doing. Back and forth, back and forth, you're horrific, you're fabulous, you're a train wreck, you're amazing, we hate you, we love you, on and on.
Which brings me to the topic of my letter: The Pneumatic Yarn Tube. Exactly when is it going to be functional? I know it will begin in Duluth, MN, but can you please elucidate the fiber world on where its first destination will be? If I may be so bold, sir, as to offer a suggestion: rural Canada is in dire need of the PYT. Packages take weeks, months, years, eons to get to rural Canada from the United States. The people of rural Canada are cold, and in need of soft, brightly colored wool with which to amuse and warm themselves.
I would like you to see that the PYT is completed before November 1st so that the good people of Canada -- nay, the world -- will benefit from the soft, brightly colored wool that will help usher in the era of peace and forgiveness as only wool can. Studies show that conflict, fighting, yelling, bombing, anger, and indigestion are all reduced in the presence of soft, brightly colored wool.
I also believe that if the PYT is completed on schedule, there will be praise and thanksgiving throughout the land, and you will take your place in yarn history as one of the primary benefactors of sheep, sheep's wool, fiber artists, dye, dyers, knitters, crocheters, weavers, and their mothers.
If it is of assistance, you may designate all of the Three Irish Girls corporate income tax revenue you receive towards the construction of the PYT.
Thank you for this prompt attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Yarnista
P.S. I know you are well versed in the legal-ease in which I have composed this letter, but if this missive is being read by a college intern, what I am trying to say is, Hurry The Heck Up With The Pneumatic Yarn Tube. Please."
Those are my wishes on this early Monday morning in Chicago: sleeping compartments in airports, more room for kneecaps, and yarn that can be vacuum-sucked to the far reaches of the globe.
Reader Comments (17)
Pneumatic Yarn Tube is simply good for the international relationships and diplomats. M. OBAMA , I'm not an american citizen, but I perfectly know how depression is expensive for the Health Care budget. Yarn is the unique SOLUTION! BUILT THE PNEUMATIC YARN TUBE! Together: " BUILT THE PNEUMATIC YARN TUBE!"
( And a stargate to help in our meet-up, please!)
This is exactly true. We citizens of rural Canada are cold, and regardless of how much yarn/wool we currently have, we do need more, and we do need it more quickly.
To the candidates in the mayoral race in my city, I will definately vote for which ever one of you can guarantie cooperation with Barrack Obama in getting the PYT up and functional by November 1.
That is an excellent point, Trisha. We must raise public awareness of the PYT issue and make sure that we are supporting candidates worldwide who will help ensure world peace through soft and brightly colored wool that arrives at its destination quickly. Go to debates! Raise it in public forums! Write to your elected representatives!
Sigh. The government teacher in me will never die.
Sharon, you are on to something with the airport sleeping :)
http://www.yotel.com/ - hourly rentals!
Or the fancy pod hotels... ;)
I am with Marina; we need a Stargate and we need it now. Then you could deliver the yarn yourself as a special treat, say once a year during someone's birthday month, for example. Or we could come and pick our yarn up at the studio; but that could have an adverse affect on postal system revenues....
Just so you know, I have very short, almost non-existent legs and I too think that there should be more leg room and sleeping compartments. I recently fell asleep while sitting up, holding a hot cup of coffee, at the butt crack of dawn in the Cleveland airport while waiting for my connection home after a visit with friends in Seattle. Let me tell you that it is not a pretty picture when the now sleeping hand slowing lets go of said hot cup of coffee and it pours down the front of you...I was using my girls as a bit of a shelf/support so I was literally a hot mess on the short flight to Albany.
It could be a mistake to get politicians involved with the PYT. They only want to take it over and have the government run it. Then it would mean long delays in receiving bright, warm yarn. It might even mean that regulators would decide who deserves to receive yarn. Actuaries would figure out who already has "enough" yarn and who cannot possibly knit all their yarn in the years remaining to the average life span of knitters. I agree wholeheartedly that knitting would relieve depression and create peace worldwide but we need to make sure that only Yarnistas and yarn lovers have control of this vital and FUNCTIONING PYT. We could distribute yarn to those who have less by voluntary giving from our stash but retain the ability to knit hard and create more stash, too--the American way. After all, giving away a sweater gives warmth for a time, teaching people to knit gives them warmth for a lifetime.
ps I can give you some of my leg room. I'd like a shorter seat.
I've got 2.75" legs! You can sit next to me and have all of my leg room.
Coming from Canada myself, I must agree with this letter. The mail system here is horrendous!! My friend recently visited Scotland where she sent me a birthday card. It took a week. FROM SCOTLAND! And the best part was, it was mailed from Scotland around September 17th, and it was postmarked in Canada September 21, and I received it Sept. 23. So, to recap it took 2 business days for this card to come from SCOTLAND to CANADA! 2 days! It then took 2 days for it to arrive in my mailbox. How crazy is that???
It took about 2 weeks for my yarn to arrive last month....
You get my vote for the PYT as well. As a denizen of rural Canada, I can vouch first hand that it takes forever for yarn deliveries to get here, and with the cold weather season nigh upon us, we need our yarn pronto.
As far as the airport sleeping pods goes, you should check out the Beebonnet Report blog. I think they have such things in Amsterdam at the airport. (They may be connected to a flexible tube filled with pungent smoke, but I think that's for dream enhancement).
Ooooooo We definitely need more room on a plane! I make a lot of trips to Europe and I too CANNOT sleep sitting up. In fact i was telling my english friend whom i'm vising in London in the spring that i will be a miserable cranky woman when I land from lack of sleep....But i'll have yarn and needles in my hand, because thats all that matters right?
Wow. I am a midwestern USA person who hasn't had ONE trip to England. I'm a little envious here. If I could accompany you, you could have my leg room because I can curl up in the seat :)
Only if I can have a bit of your wool too Cheryl...lol
The citizens of rural Canada thank you for your interest in ensuring that we will be warm this winter. Now, if only the powers that be could see the logic in your reasoning and get off their collective duffs to initiate action. Though I must insist that control of the PYT be kept firmly in the hands of knitters. Otherwise we risk serious slowdowns as bureaucrats try to come up with a method by which they can keep some of the pretties for themselves.
We Canadians, applaud your efforts. Thank-you.
I vote for the PYT or Stargate... Whichever will get the wooly goodness to me quicker. It's so hard to wait even though technically they arrive the allotted month apart :O)
I agree with Cheryl, getting the government involved will only create more headaches. Can you imagine the forms necessary to send yarny goodness? There would probably be an entire governmental department dedicated to tracking the yarn, insuring reciept of said yarn, and most certainly they would feel the need to "means test" the recipients of said yarn to insure that no one recieved more than their fair share of the yarn wealth. And of course they would want to tax this method of transportation, because if people want it, use it and it improves life, there must be a way for the government to make money on it. They need the additional taxes to help ease the depression, or so we will be told. Keeping the PYT in the hands of knitters is much safer and definitely friendlier to yarn addicts everywhere!
Sharon, I was in the Navy. I can sleep standing up, let alone sitting down. ;-) I would not, however, recommend either, so I'm with you on the sleeping compartments. And the pneumatic yarn tube. I was thinking about how awesome it would be to have one, but you reminded me that I need to be considerate of our less fortunate sisters-and-brothers-in-yarn who have to wait a month or more to get the shipments I do in a couple days. PYT now!