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Tuesday
Oct162012

...and that's why the good lord made mirrors.

Said no one in this family.

Oh, a belted, buttoned vest to wear over my shirt and tie? It's perfect for a wee jaunt in the garden, love!

I would be morose too.

People. This is commercially made. 

Indeed.

Halloween is coming. Knit this sweater in lieu of an elaborately constructed haunted house. It's far scarier.

The holy grail has been located, girls. A sweater that adds 40 pounds.

You heard it here first!

You're welcome.

No one. Any age. Ever.

When you consider how many steps were taken before this hat was knit, it makes you want to leap off the nearest building.

1. Conceptualize Cookie Monster at a New Year's Eve party yarn.

2. Locate Chinese factory to make it for you.

3. Run thousands of pounds of said Cookie Monster at a New Year's Eve Party yarn.

4. Put it on a boat and sail it across the ocean.

5. Yarn store managers order it, pay for it, and make room for it on their shelves.

6. Knitter sees yarn and purchases it.

Let's stop at number six for a moment.

Knitter sees yarn and purchases it.

Let that sink in.

It happened.

7. Knitter thinks to themselves, "I shall make myself the hat of all hats! It shall look thusly!"

8. Knitter swatches and tests said yarn into the hat of all hats.

9. Knitter writes pattern for hat and pattern is edited.

You know what? I can't even go on. At least 100 people could have stopped this from happening and didn't.

Where am I, and where is this handbasket going?

I guess that answers that question.

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Reader Comments (13)

These pictures are so funny... I can not believe that vest. I showed my husband and we were both laughing so hard.

Thanks for the smile :)

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercasey

What has been seen can not be unseen! argh!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Can't.stop.laughing.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffani

I wanna get Dad some knitted shorts like that morose guy is wearing.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYarnista's Mama

Those pictures are hilarious! thank you for sharing your wonderful sense of humor on this blog. - Melissa

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

LOVE IT! I love some of the stuff I stumble across when searching for patterns online. SO funny!

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancy H88

Just another reason why cats crave their independence!

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Yarnista

Oh my. I don't even know how to react to that. Thanks for the laughs!

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah E. White

That "commercially made" sweater is actually a knitter's delight, as it carries a full skein of yarn at your waist, conveniently ready for knitting on the go. I think it's genius. As is the cookie monster wig hat; you wouldn't need to pay all that money for a "natural" hair wig. Awesome!

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

Did people ever actually knit and wear some of those '70s designs? I mean, I've seen pattern books, but never actually seen a picture of them out in the wild (which might just be because the offenders regained their sanity and burned them).

Sadly, though, I can totally see myself trying to rock #6 back in the '80s...

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

OMG Those are awful! But my husband is sitting next to me and telling me how 'cute' that first picture is and just how well Cookie Monster's vomit matches the model's face. Maybe he needs those shorts...

October 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather DJ

HA!! Thanks for a good laugh.

You just know that cat is thinking "I will kill you as you sleep." :D

October 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterguinevere

the cat looks very happy .and the coat is very nice

July 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpet-suppliers

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