four things
Tuesday, February 7, 2012 at 10:49AM 1. Two enormous animals live in my home. Via some moment of sheer absurdity, I willingly agreed to let both a horse and a gazelle occupy my living room, eat my food, and attempt to sleep in my bed. I got up to get some water last night, and in the sixty seconds I was gone, I came back to find a horse sleeping in my spot. She was just lying in wait, rubbing her paws together, gleeful at the chance to usurp my position as 50% bed owner.
The horse, on the left, is a chocolate colored beast, weighing in at the better part of 95 pounds, and whose favorite activities include eating food, sleeping ON you, and swimming through life. This is a dog who will get into the bathtub with you, despite your attempts at pushing her away. This is an animal who can swim in the snow. (Sadly, we don't have any.) She is exceedingly strong and adorably affectionate. We occasionally call her Rosie.
Her compatriot, on the right, has lived with us since October. We rescued her from the shelter when she was ten months old and named her Lucy. She is a lab and springer mix, and she has not stopped moving since the moment we met her. I was recently telling a new acquaintance about my dogs, and when she heard we had a female lab/springer mix, she said, "Let me guess. Really sweet. Really smart. Incredibly hyperactive."
She is so hyperactive that I cannot take a decent picture of her. This is the sum total of the photographs I have in which you can tell a black dog is present, and not just a smear of ink across the frame.
Lucy is just as tall as Rosie, but is half her weight, which makes her faster than a speeding bullet. The breed name springer is an accurate one, as she leaps, gazelle-like, at every opportunity. Given a choice between walking and leaping, she'll choose the latter.
If I had vast quantities of free time, this is the kind of gazelle I would train and enter into agility contests.
But I don't. So she'll have to satisfy herself with the leaping opportunities around my house.
These beasts love to chase each other and wrestle whenever they have a free moment. And let's face it, unless you're a farm dog, nearly every moment in a dog's life is a free one.
I've asked them politely to stop wrestling. They don't listen to me. They careen into the coffee table, spilling your drinks. They crash into the backs of your knees while you're cooking dinner, pitching you forward into the salad. They have such wanton disregard for human courtesy.
But they also let small children ride on their backs. They will eat anything, making them excellent vacuum cleaners. They sleep curled up with a seven year old in the sweetest possible way.
Someday -- and I'm told this is inevitable -- that girl is going to grow up and move out. And when she does, she'll get herself a horse or a gazelle of her own, because of the memories she's made with these.
But what can be done about the wrestling? What?
2. Several weeks ago, I was groggily drinking my coffee and eating my raisin bran. I like to read the paper while I do this. The length of my breakfast is directly proportional to the thickness of the newspaper.
When I lived in Washington, DC, we got both the Washington Post and the New York Times delivered every morning. Sometimes I would have to get up at 2:00 am to eat breakfast.
Now, the Duluth News Tribune provides me with about ten minutes of eating time. I read the front section, which often has stories about local and state government and the problems they both create and solve. I skip nearly all of the international Associated Press stories, because I've read them online the day before, and there's nothing worse than rereading the same bad news.
Then I read the local section, which is mostly about things like black bears, sledding, road construction, Lake Superior, and obituaries. I skip the entire sports section because of a very deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep apathy towards any and all sports. Is deep apathy an oxymoron?
Whatever. I don't care that much.
I enjoy reading the paper, and try to look at it from the perspective of, hey, I'm lucky to live in a place where the top local news story is about someone stealing $150 from their coworker's locker.
So, you can imagine the chuckle I had when I unearthed this gem:
I should like to point out that this did not happen in Duluth, or even Minnesota, for that matter. We have Wisconsin to thank for this one.
You see, it seems as though Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop violated the terms of his bail conditions.
He had some drugs, paraphernalia, and weapons. Understandably, Wisconsin did not like that. So they put him in jail.
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, whose name used to be Jeff, legally changed his name. As in, went to court and said to a judge, "Hello, my name is Jeff. I would like to pay money to change my name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop."
And the judge said, "Okey dokey."
Poor Beezow's mother. She cannot be pleased that her baby Jeff has done this to himself.
3. I knit this scarf for moi. It's a bulky weight braided circle that loops around my neck twice and keeps me toasty warm.
4. One more week until Valentine's Day! How do you feel about that?
Reader Comments (17)
I'd be more excited about Valentine's Day, but my chocolate supplier is floating somewhere in the Pacific. I can buy chocolate for myself anytime of the year. :-)
Your description of Lucy is that of my Australian Kelpie. I figured out how to take a non-moving picture of her - hold a ball above my head!
Love that scarf! And the colourway is.....?
Aren't the canine members of the family a scream? My Boxer boxes. Really. The Shar Pei is just....wrinkly. Better her than me. ;-)
You need another option on the poll:
"It is a commercial manufactured holiday and I acknowledge that, but at the same time GIVE ME CHOCOLATES". I had trouble picking between them.
I could have picked all the choices in the poll at different times in my life. And I really like your dooginses.
Sandy, the colorway is one that I had in my stash from long ago. I think it's Malabrigo Chunky?
I like all of the options!! I have never liked cherubs, and I think it's a Hallmark holiday, but since having a family I like the idea of celebrating love in all forms- family, friends, chocolate, yarn. As long as it's not some kind of test you're supposed to pass.
I love the scarf! That would look awesome in Springvale Bulky in pretty much any color. Hmmmm....
Ah, you have a hyperactive Lucy, too! Mine is an 8 year old part Golden Retriever part Irish Setter. She is crazy and still wants to wrestle with my chocolate Lab, Basset Hound and Golden Retriever. So, part of your problem may be the name. I think also that your Lucy is still a baby, in the rebellious teenaged years, and that the wrestling will wind itself down. When our dogs (all over age 5) get a little too rambunctious, we squirt them with water via a spray bottle. It's gotten to the point where we just need to point to it and they all knock it off. Worth a try, possibly? However, if your Lab may just think it's a new way for her to get a drink. Another trick is to shake a can with pennies it in at the dogs when they're misbehaving. The sound is horrible, but usually will distract them enough so you can redirect them. I wish you luck!
Your scarf looks like it was made from Malabrigo Rasta. Love it!
Aren't dogs wonderful! I finally found the one for me - it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Her name is Mona and she is probably a cross between your two dogs. The story about the guy formerly known as Jeff was very much worth sharing, thank you! The scarf is lovely, the colors are great. I agree that Valentine's days has it's pros and cons - I saw a great idea on Parks and Rec: Galentine's day: go out with your girl friends the day before Valentine's, just don't talk about your love life!
Galentine's Day! Love it!
And really good tip about the water/penny can! I am totally going to try that! Thanks, Jen M!
Once again your blog brings a smile to my face. Love the story on the dogs. I have one little hyperactive dog (bichon) and one layed back shih tzu that was suppoed to love cats - right. Rescuer beware! He chases the cat any chance he gets. The much larger cat now occupies one bedroom and the laundry room exclusivly - except at night when he comes to sit on my pillow and yowl in my ear.
It's the caption reading ZOPPITYBOP-BOP-BOP that really sells it. That was when I burst out laughing.
Gotta Love Elf, even the angry ones that escape the North Pole ;)
Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee!!
O-M-G yarnista sista"! I cannot believe it! After 3 years of having my girl (choco lab) I always said she was pure breed in the short side (45lbs..) Well reading your post, it all makes sense! My girl has the Springer wavy hair in her back! She is a Springador/Labradinger! (http://www.greatdogsite.com/hybrids/details/Labradinger/). Here is my crazy hyperactive girl (http://dreamaginarius.blogspot.com/2010/12/pets-are-family.html) that by the way.. (I share the pain) takes over my bed too like she is entitled to! haha
Love the cowl you made!! Yummy colorway in the chunky yarn :)
Elf is the best. Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!