17 things i do not want to knit

The list of things I do want to knit is long, too long. I have now achieved QBLE status, or Queue Beyond Life Expectancy.

(QBLE is pronounced CUEble, by the way.)

(It's my acronym, and I'll QBLE if I want to.)

Sometimes QBLE can be overwhelming. I've tried the head-buried-in-sand approach. I've tried the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race tactic. I've even tried the tiring quick-like-a-bunny strategy. And I still have a QBLE.

So I've cooked up a new scheme. It calls for a shift of focus, from my QBLE to Things I Do Not Want to Knit.

Before we discuss them, let me preface this list with the following disclaimer.

The fact that I do not want to knit these items is not a reflection of the inherent talent or skill of the knitter. It does not mean that the person who did knit these is not a good person or that I do not like them. I am not making fun of the knitters who, in some cases, devoted many hours to devising a pattern and knitting the item.

I am merely stating my preference. That is all. It is not a value judgment of their humanity.

If you find that you DO want to knit these items, please be my guest. I hope you will enjoy doing it. Send me a picture when you're done. Amen.

1. I do not want to knit a pig surgical mask.

2. I do not want to knit a hooded, turtleneck, knee-length, fringed cape with matching pants.

3. I do not want to knit the characters from Angry Birds. In general, I do not want to knit angry things. Or things from a game from my phone.

4. I do not want to knit a Viking hat and beard. Especially because I live in Minnesota.

5. I do not want to knit a digestive system. Or a circulatory system, or a weather system. I have other things to knit besides systems.

6. I do not want to knit an alien purse.

7. I do not want to knit an eyeball doorknob cover. Keys in the eye are bad.

8. I do not want to knit a slouchy pumpkin -- or in this case, pampkin -- hat.

9. I do not want to knit a ski mask? Face protector? (What would you call this?) Regardless, not so much, no.

10. I do not want to knit this.

11. Or this.

12. I do not want to knit an "asimetrical" shrug-scarf such as this one. I just don't wear much in the "couture style," I'm sorry.

13. I don't really need any glingers.

14. Nor a fuzzy mohair light saber.

15. Turkey belongs in my belly. Not on my head.

16. I do not want to knit myself a ball and chain. I'm carrying around enough extra weight as it is.

17. And while I know how much work probably went into this Sponge Bob Square Pants hat, I really prefer head coverings that don't obstruct my eyes and nose. Or my brain.

Have you seen any other Things I Do Not Want to Knit? I can add it to my list when I need a break from my QBLE. And maybe I'll find an additional 17 Things I Do Not Want to Knit. Which can only make my QBLE smaller, right? Right.

the wand chooses the wizard

"Is this real, or has it been happening inside my head?"

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?"

-- Dumbledore

I recently spent many days drinking in the magic of Disney, and one day basking in the magic of Harry Potter at Universal Studios.

Hogwarts is amazing, inside and out. No detail was left unattended to. The portrait hall was full of talking, moving pictures.

(And you'll have to forgive me here, they don't allow flash photography, and the light was quite dim -- these are pictures are far less than tack sharp.)

Dumbledore's office was several stories high, and featured a 3-D, talking hologram of the wizard himself.

The sorting hat barked orders at passersby.

The ride inside Hogwarts is also a state of the art, 3D experience. I've never seen anything like it.

Hagrid's Hut stood near the castle.

And the peaks of Hogsmeade are charmingly disheveled and snow-capped.

No matter that Florida provided a hot, sunny day for our visit -- Hogsmeade was full of snow and icicles.

(Pumpkin juice and Butterbeer are delightful remedies for a hot day, by the way.)

JK Rowling insisted that Universal hire the set decorators that worked on the Harry Potter films, and even the inside of the shops are quirky and piled to the ceiling with parcels and strange objects.

I was a bit perplexed as to why there are only three rides in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and why the entire portion of the park is only a couple of city blocks long.

Don't get me wrong, it was stunning. But it seemed to short change the epic story of Harry. Why is there no Hogwarts Express attraction? Wouldn't a roller coaster through Gringott's bank be fun (and scary!)? Most of the storefronts in Hogsmeade feature amusing window displays, but are for display only -- you can't go inside.

One of the few things that my sweet four year old could partake in was the demonstration inside Ollivander's wand shop. All of the Hogsmeade shops are small, as Rowling depicted them. And that means that you must wait in line until a space opens, as only 20-25 people are allowed in at a time.

(And let's not forget that Ollivander's is supposed to be in Diagon Alley, which I was rather surprised to see was not there at all.)

Inside the dim, cool shop, the door closes behind you, and Mr. Ollivander greets you. The audience stands silently as he peruses the onlookers.

He came up to my son and said, "Ah, yesss. I think you'd better come with me, my boy."

He explained that you might think you can just select a wand and use it for magical purposes, but no.

The wand chooses the wizard.

He gave my son several wands to try and various magical tasks to perform, all of which went awry. Clearly, because he had not found the correct wand yet.

And when the correct box was opened? A light from above. A choir.

This wand, made of "oak which is steadfast, loyal, and strong, with a core of dragonstring, which is excellent for healing and protection," would serve him well, Ollivander pronounced.

My boy was awestruck. Ollivander -- and the wand -- had chosen him.

That's exactly how I feel about this little company of mine. Yarn chose me.  There were several times when I specifically said to my husband, "I will never want to get into dyeing yarn. That is too much work, and it's too messy."

And quite obviously, that made no difference whatsoever. It didn't matter that I said, "I won't be doing that." The yarn chose me. 

I never woke up thinking, "If only I could start a yarn company, I would be truly happy," because I already had a job I enjoyed.

Here's my challenge to you: what might be trying to choose you? What are you saying no to that you can't quite push out of your mind? What would you do if you weren't too scared to try?

i used to be able to...

Knit in the car.

I knit in the car driving hither and yon, here and there, thusly and... whatever thusly is usually paired with.

I made this:

And this:

And this:

Mind you, I was knitting while sitting in the veritable cornucopia of interminably long stoplights present every fifteen feet on the roadways of suburban Washington, DC.

I was not knitting while operating the vehicle.

I knit this too:

And also this:

Scarves make great car knitting. They don't require a lot of concentration. You can easily see where you left off.

Today, I get absolutely no knitting done in the car. Zero.

Stoplights here in Duluth, MN are 20 seconds long. The only traffic backups that occur are because of road construction.

But this is the trade off for car knitting: a view of Lake Superior everywhere you turn.

Scarves with ridiculous traffic or Lake Superior and no gridlock?

Toughie.

Five questions for: Kara from More Yarn

I like patronizing small businesses, and do it whenever I can.  And I like knowing a little something about the owner's story and what makes them tick. So I'm launching a new series of five question interviews to give you a behind the scenes peek into what makes small businesses tick.

If you've never visited our awesome retailer More Yarn, you should check them out. Their site is whimsical, easy to navigate, and they have a nifty rewards points system.

Our first interview in the series is with Kara, the owner of More Yarn.

Please note: I am the next Barbara Walters.

Have you made a note?

Thank you.

Q: What made you want to start  a yarn business?
A: I started More Yarn in early 2008 with just such a passion for knitting and hand-dyed yarns. We are a small store but carry a great selection of hand dyers. More Yarn is my side business, and it's a joy to work with all of the customers that love the yarn! I work a full time job as an academic business librarian (another passion!) but enjoy putting my love and energy into moreyarn.com.

Q: What are you favorite projects to knit?
A: I have been working on quite a few socks this summer and also a few shawls.  I love knitting things for friends and family so there's a few holiday projects on the needles right now!

Q: What makes your yarn store special?

We only carry hand dyed yarns and because we are a small store, I tend to get to know the customers. They share with me the projects they make with the yarn they buy from us. It's almost like a virtual local yarn store!

Q: What can customers expect if they order yarn from More Yarn?
Excellent customer service. Shipping is usually the same day of order and always Priority Mail. We're also here to answer any questions about a product.

Q: Tell us three interesting or unexpected things about yourself.
- I'm a librarian (doesn't knitting always follow this profession?) and help MBA candidates research course projects and prepare for interviews.

- I was on Oprah's Great American Hairstyles show: 100 viewers were chosen to get their hair cut by celebrity stylists!

- I'm an avid podcast listener...in addition to knitting podcasts, I also love WNYC's Radiolab, This American Life, and Ted Talks.

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Am I the only one who wants to see the Oprah before and after pictures?

Remember that this weekend is Small Business Saturday, everyone! Shop small!

Would you like to be included in our "Five Questions For" series? Drop us a line using the contact form in the upper right, or send us an email at threeirishgirls AT gmail DOT com.

Calling all designers!

We've had the very good fortune to work with some of the best  pattern designers in the known universe.

And now's your chance to join them.

This is an open call for original pattern design submissions. Accepted patterns will be published by Three Irish Girls and may be distributed via PDF download, through local yarn shops, or in future editions of our lookbooks.

Here's what we have to offer:

• Competitive design fees and royalty payments
• Excellent designer exposure and promotion
• Yarn and photography support
• Designer-friendly contract terms
• Pattern tech editing

Here's what we're looking for:

• Original patterns not published elsewhere
• Unique points of view
• Designs that highlight the beautiful nature of hand dyed yarn
• Garments of all types (socks, sweaters, scarves, hats, mittens, shawls, etc)
• Patterns for babies, children, men, and women
• Toys, home decor, and seasonal projects

How to submit your designs:

• Prepare a short document (MS Word or PDF) that includes a sketch or photograph of your design, along with pattern notes, any sample charts, and scanned swatches
• A list of suggested fibers and yarn weights
• A short biographical profile (it doesn't matter if this is your first pattern, we just want to know a little bit about you). Please include your full name, email address, mailing address, and phone number (we promise not to share these).
• Email your document to us with "PATTERN SUBMISSION" in the subject line to threeirishgirls @ gmail . com (no spaces)
• Please submit no later than the end of December 20, 2011.

Please feel free to tell your designer friends about this open call -- everyone is welcome. Direct your questions to us by using the contact form on the right side of this page.

To get a feel for our aesthetic, visit our moodboards for this design call:

Modern Vintage

Urban Chic

Kidlets

We can't wait to see what you come up with!