Parade of Rejects

That's not a very nice title. Perhaps I should call this series "Valuable contestants whose talents will be put to better use elsewhere."

How do you tell a yarn it's just not good enough? Do you take the job interview approach? "I'm sorry, it was a really tough decision, but we ended up offering the job to someone else." Do you take the beauty pageant approach? "Only twenty-five candidates remain. We have to narrow the field to ten. In no particular order, let's start with..." Do you take the publication route? "Thank you very much for your submission. Unfortunately, we're unable to accept your piece at this time. Please keep writing and try again later."

I don't know. I'm still trying to find a way to break it to the yarns gently. I hate to dash their hopes. Right now, this colorway is living on the lovely shelves in my studio, and not in the yarn graveyard. I don't want her to feel that I don't care, but I also don't want to give her the wrong impression.

Poor girl.  She has some lovely purples, navy, chartreuse, peach, and pink. But she just isn't right for the job.



What do you say to a face like this?



She's so full of hope. But I also don't want to send her to the wolves, make her think she has a chance, and then have no one at all pick her for the knitting team.

What say you?

More contestants in our Parade of Rejects to come soon.

Evolution.

Colorways evolve. At least they do 'round these parts. These parts being the cowboy west, apparently. Next thing you know, I'll be rustlin' up some grub.

I know there are other dyers out there who never dye the same thing twice -- they prefer to let inspiration strike as it will, and not to worry about having to live with that colorway long term, or to recreate the colorway over and over and over. More power to them, I say. I totally understand that desire. It can be draining to spend considerable time perfecting something, only to be thwarted at the gate again and again. But my business isn't set up for dyeing at will and random stockings, even though the freedom is fun.

(I have been known to discontinue a colorway because I can't stand to dye it one more time, even though it sold well. Bad business idea? Probably. But I'm an artist. An ARTIST, people. Cut me some slack. You want me to like what I do so I can keep making pretty yarn and not burn out doing colorways I hate, right? RIGHT? Just nod your head.) (And don't ask what those colorways were, I ain't tellin.')

Of course, I am the gate keeper. I am the one whose brain says, "Yeahhh... no. Try again." The February colorway yarn club selections were tough for me -- I went through ten versions of a colorway before settling on one.

January was a little less brutal. Here's what I started with:



Not horrible. But it doesn't speak to me. I don't like the ivory.  I decide to try some butter yellow in place of the ivory.



A little better. I'm still not loving the lightest note in this colorway. There needs to be less contrast. I decided to swap the yellow for some salmon.



A bit better. more appealing. But I don't want this to be too girly, so I decide to get rid of the pink. I don't know why, salmon is not really my thing.

Here's a close to final version:



Getting there.

Here's the final:



It's deeper, richer. It rings my bell.

Version one with version two in the background.


Version two with version three in the background:



See the difference between version two and three?



Three and four:



Four is close:



Four different versions of the same concept.



And there's my baby, Halcyon:



Now, if you're one of those people who're like, "But I liked version one the best!" please find another Yarnista. And please don't tell me about it. The Yarnista has feelings. And she sometimes refers to herself in third person.

ETA: What do I do with all this yarn? Often, I work with small skeins when I'm working with prototypes.  I'll divide a regular skein up into halves or thirds so I'm not being too wasteful. And then I keep them all. For reference and emotional attachment and stuff. I like to refer to them. I keep them in my studio, and am now working on filling my third large box. My other two larges boxes are overflowing -- a section of the studio my husband refers to as the yarn graveyard.

Yarns can talk to each other, study finds.

A Yarnista outside of Washington, DC has made a startling discovery that she says will change the way the world thinks about yarn.  For years, conventional wisdom has held that yarn is little more than an inanimate amalgamation of fiber that can be changed to suit the needs of the user.

Previous studies have concluded that yarn is quite capable of talking to humans, but that humans rarely hear what the yarn has to say because they are unwilling to listen. Researchers thought that the frequency at which yarn speaks is best heard by individuals with sensitive ears and souls, and that other animals and yarns likely couldn't hear the vibrations emitted by yarn.

The article, published today in the Journal of Yarn Studies (JYS), says that yarn has feelings and is quite capable of communicating with other yarn species. The primary evidence cited by the author is photographic in nature. Excerpts are published below.

"Hello."



"I love you."



The photographs were taken as the study's author was packing up her camera equipment from a long photo shoot, when she noticed what appeared to be furtive communication between the two skeins, Vintage Zinc, on the left, and Pewter Amethyst, at right. She says she surreptitiously turned on the "movie" function on her camera, and saw the two yarns moving toward each other.

The colorways, as they are referred to in the yarn community, are part of a sock yarn club, Sock Yarnista, started by the Yarnista in July of 2008.  Exactly how they fell in love is also unknown, but the author speculates it has something to do with their shared common experiences.

After the video was played back in a forensic audiology lab, the yarns can clearly be heard saying, "Hello," and "I love you."

Exactly how the yarn speaks to others without a mouth is not known at this time and will require further study.

Yarn whispering

I am a firm believer in yarn whispering, knitting serendipity, and listening to that leetle voice inside that's trying to tell you something.

You've heard of the Horse, Dog, and Baby Whisperers. Now it's time to learn to cultivate your inner Yarn Whisperer. We can all do it. Deep within all knitters is the ability to talk to yarn.

Yarn will tell you what it wants to be, if you're willing to listen. Yarn does not liked to be forced into things, it has a mind and a personality of its own. Too often I hear knitters say things like, "I just can't get gauge with this yarn! I don't know what's going on!" or, "I love this, but it just doesn't seem to fit with what I intended to make with it."

Totally discouraged with a project? Can't seem to knit another stitch? The yarn is trying to say something: "I don't want to be this!" or, "NO LIKE THIS PATTERN!" (Yes, sometimes yarn is an impossible child.) Make no mistake: it's not that the yarn is silent. It's that we're not listening.

A case study:



I received this stunning skein of handspun yarn from my friend Lisa of Selah. (If you're on Ravelry, you can see more of her handspun here. If you're not on Ravelry, you should be.) She dyed the roving in her Pan colorway and spun it just for moi because she knew I would like it. Because she's a lovely person who does things like that for her friends. It's a superwash merino that ranges from DK to super bulky weight. I heart it with all my heart.



Look at those colors. Greens and turquoises and browns. Love.

Does anyone else do this? Please tell me I'm not alone.



Untwisting the skein of yarn and wrapping it around my wrist gets me in touch with my inner knitter. It primes my yarn whispering abilities. It looks like a giant bangle bracelet.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling ... oh, what's the word I'm looking for... well-bred? Pedigreed?  Elegant? Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially elegant, I will even keep my little pinky up while wrapping yarn around my wrist.



Have you noticed when I hold my cup, the saucer never moves?

And the way I keep my pinky up indubitably proves...

(10 points if you recognize the movie musical reference.)

I'll give you a teeny hint, but you'll have to find the answer yourself.

It's Hello, Dolly!

I immediately wound this skein into a ball and start swatching and whispering. Here's a snippet of the conversation I had with this yarn:

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Me: OMG! U are so fab! When I saw you I just about died!

Yarn:

Me: It's so great meeting you, I've been admiring you for a long time, and I'm really eager to get started! Have you given any thought to what you'd like to be?

Yarn:

Me: That's OK, I know you just got off an airplane and you're trying to get used to the time difference. Would you like to take a nap?

Yarn:

Me: No? Well, let's just jump right in! I think you would look great knit up on size 9 needles, so I'm just going to do a little test swatch. This won't take too long. I know it's not your favorite thing, but it's very important.

Yarn: OWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Me: Size 9? No? No can do?

Yarn: GAWD, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? I MEAN, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU CAN'T KNIT ME ON NEEDLES THAT SMALL.

Me: Oh dear, I'm so sorry. Let me try a size 10.

Yarn:

Me: Is this better? Are you more comfortable?

Yarn: Sort of. Not really.

Me: OK, well, I'd be happy to go up to a 10.5. Let's do that.

Yarn:

Me: Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. Can I offer you anything? Coffee? Juice?

Yarn:

Me: Yarn, I love you so much, and I'm trying really hard here to make you happy and comfortable. I get the feeling you don't like me very much. Have I done something to offend you?

Yarn: Can we just get this over with?

Me: Sure. Here's what I was thinking: Fingerless gloves. 2x2 rib. Let's do it.

Yarn: Woo.

Me: Is there anything else you'd like to tell me before I cast on?

Yarn: No.

Me: [Two hours and one movie later] Look, a fingerless glove to keep my wrists warm this winter! Huzzah! Now I shall make your mate!

Yarn: Your arm looks like a tree branch in the forest.

Me: What?

Yarn: Your arm looks like a tree branch in the forest.

Me: What?

Yarn: YOUR ARM LOOKS--

Me: I heard what you said, but I don't believe it. This is a beautiful specimen of fingerless glove. I am going to wear it and love it, and I'm starting on the match right now.

Yarn: Fine, if you want everyone to to think you're really some kind of big talking tree Ent things from that Lord of the Rings movie.



********************************************************

I discovered that this skein was not some beautiful  goddess who whispers golden words of wisdom while I gently knit her into something ethereal and breathtaking. Oh no.

This skein of yarn is a teenage boy. It has attitude. It sulks. It refuses to speak to you half the time. It plays its music too loud and wears its pants too low and wants to do dangerous things like snowboarding and walking to the library by himself without a grown up present.

You would never guess that by looking at him, would you? He seems so innocent.



I have to tell you, I've been knitting long enough that I knew to listen to the yarn. A newer knitter might have said, "Whatever, Mr. Yarnpants, I made you into a fingerless glove and that's what you're going be." But then they would have entertained Ent thoughts every time they wore them. The yarn would whisper, "Told you so," until kingdom come.

I tried further discussion and knitting with the yarn.

***************************************************

Me: Please turn down your music, you're shaking the walls.

Me: AHEM.

Me: Would you like to be a hat?

Yarn: No.

Me: Would you like to be wristwarmers?

Yarn: Ha.

Me: Would you like to be a scarf?

Yarn: Go ahead and try.

*******************************************

I'll save you the play by play. The yarn does NOT want to be a scarf.

*******************************************

Me: Do you want to be a cowl?

Yarn: Maybe.

Me: A cowl?

Yarn: OK.

Me: Yes? Did you say yes?

Yarn: I said OK. Go ahead and try to find the right stitch pattern and shape. I dare you.

************************************************

Do not let anyone give you the impression that you're in control, that you just need to teach the yarn some discipline and take away its driving privileges and all will be well. Not with hand dyed yarn, and certainly not with handspun. Factory made Stepford yarn may be a bit more compliant, but then again, it doesn't look like this:



And don't feel bad if your yarn whispering occasionally turns into yarn yelling.  That's just the nature of the beast.

I will let you know when Pan and I have come to some agreement.

2008: It’s been… a year.

The internet is full of Year in Review articles, Best and Worst of 2008 articles, Top Ten News Stories of 2008 articles, Fifty Best Movies of 2008 articles, and Predictions for 2009 articles.

I'm going to save you some time. Then you'll have more time to knit or read blogs or whatever it is you like to do.

Here we are:

The economy sucks. The Feds should have seen it coming. They ignored the warning signs. People are being foreclosed on. Now is a good time to buy a house if you have good credit! Great deals abound! Buyer's market!

Movies were hit and miss. We got to see Meryl Streep dance to Abba and Tom Cruise wear an eye patch. Paris Hilton play a hottie in The Hottie and the Nottie. Shocking.

If you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. If you eat fewer carbs, you will lose weight. If you call Jenny (what are you waiting for?), you will lose weight. If you get Nutrisystem delivered to your home (the food is delicious! New choices like chocolate cake and cheeseburgers!), you will lose weight. If you join a gym, you will lose weight. If you eat low fat, you will lose weight. Splenda is made from sugar, so it tastes like sugar. If you do pilates, you can sculpt yourself slim. If you watch The Biggest Loser, you will lose weight. Diets Fail. Weight Watchers doesn't.

Terrorists are soon going to blow up something somewhere. We have people working on it, sit tight.

Women running for political office should not wink, speak with accents, moose hunt, or buy expensive clothes. They should also not wear too many pantsuits, be too articulate, seem unfriendly, or be married to former presidents.  Men running for office should not be too old or too Republican. Minnesotans will elect  -- or almost elect -- ANYONE. Including professional wrestlers and Saturday Night Live comedians.

Americans are good at swimming. Especially in the Olympics. That's because we have a lot of pools here. Other places don't have pools. It all makes sense.

People are not getting along in the Middle East.

Celebrities are still naming their babies odd things. Britney Spears is now on the good medication.

Gas prices rose and so did prices. Gas prices fell and so did prices.

Men can now give birth.

I have now saved you a large quantity of your most precious commodity: time. What did I miss? What 2008 stories deserve to be included in my "It's been... a year" list?