Thursday
Jan072010
This is my friend.
Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 9:28PM 
This is my friend and me.
Her name is Catherine. With a C. She goes by Katie. She has an impossible to pronounce and spell Italian surname. After six years of friendship, I think I've finally got it.
My friend Catherine with a C is different than me.
She likes to wear shoes like these:
Shoes that she is very excited about, but that you probably couldn't pay me to wear.
I call them red vegan elf shoes. "Katie, are you wearing canvas tennis shoes or the red vegan elf shoes tonight?"
Katie's the kind of person who makes faces like this at the camera and then says to me, "Stop sniffing my hair."
Katie likes to wear blue eye shadow. She talks to strangers.
She likes to challenge me with statements like, "My stretch marks are worse than your stretch marks," even though she is about 103 pounds and 5'1" without the red vegan elf shoes. She likes to say she's 5'3", but she's not.
She tells me these things in an effort to get me to show her my stretch marks.
In fact, she dares me to show her my stretch marks.
We like to argue about the really important topics in life.
I don't believe stretch marks are apropos for a bench on a busy street, waiting for a cab. But then, I'm not Catherine with a C.
She's pleased to have provoked a reaction out of me.
Which is all just a cover for how hilarious and ridiculous it is to be having this conversation, thousands of miles from home on a bench on a busy street when we've slept for three hours in as many days. One of us while wearing red vegan elf shoes the entire time.
People walking by stop and stare.
Later in the hotel, Katie demands that we compare stretch marks so that she can prove that her 103 pound self has it worse off than I do. In her mind, we each have three children, so we're comparing apples to apples. I point out that she's younger. She points out that she had twins. I point out that I gave birth to nearly thirty pounds of children, and she claims that because she is smaller, her skin had less available surface area to stretch.
Later on the street, I stop Katie to take her picture. "Wait," I say, "let me take a picture of you!"
Oh yes. Oh yes I did.
I ask Katie to take my picture. This is what she took. On purpose.
Katie is the kind of friend who packs a French press and special Italian espresso in her carry on luggage. When you stay in a hotel together, she crawls into bed with you in the morning to talk.
Katie is the kind of friend who insists that you buy the big bag of miniature Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And also three different varieties of Dove Chocolates while you're at it.
Katie is the kind of friend who rents a villa in Tuscany and invites you to come along.
Katie is the kind of friend who will talk your ear off about things like how many pairs of scissors are in her house.
Katie always has a can-do attitude and an open, friendly demeanor.
Katie and I can discuss things like religion and politics for hours from a purely intellectual standpoint.
Katie can make me interested in topics I didn't know I was interested in. She once spent two hours telling me how to brew beer, which I don't even like to drink. But she's so knowledgeable and enthusiastic, you can't help but find it fascinating.
Katie is my perfect foil -- she is nearly everything I am not. She's the kind of friend you can show your stretch marks to, and she'll say, "No way, mine are so much worse than that! Look at my belly button, it's all misshapen!"
And she gets to go on a cruise tomorrow with just her husband while her parents watch her kids. Which reminds me of another thing that Katie is: LUCKY.
P.S. Katie and I own Yarn Love together.
I think I'll keep her.
Reader Comments (11)
BFF BLISS!
(and i totally covet those red vegan elf shoes)
What an awesome (and hilarious) post. :-) It reminds me of this sticker I saw a while back, "A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there with you saying, "D*mn, that was fun!".
Oh, and I'm kinda diggin' the red vegan elf shoes, too.
What an absolutely lovely tribute to your bff! I'm sure she has just as many lovely things to say about you (expect maybe your shoes?)
So how did you manage to sneak into Portland OR without letting your 3IG peeps know and plan a meet-up, with a bonus of also getting to spend time with Katie???
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!! No deserves time with a friend more than you after the last few crazy months!!!
oops...that should have been 'No one deserves'....were is that edit button when you need it???
and double oops, really need that edit button...were s/b where....:)
What a lovely Ode to a Friend. What fun, too. Love it and it made me smile so thanks you two!!
Awww, how sweet. Enjoy the break with your friend. You deserve it and I'm sure she does too.
You're both lucky to have each other.
I love this post. It's hilarious, and makes me glad I know Katie too. I found myself nodding at so many points there, Katie is super fabulous, and she makes things fun. And so do you.
Sharon, I love you!!!
Never fear, you will be obligated to come live in my Italian Yarn Villa when I have acquired it - no excuses.
Mwah!
BTW, I really am a girl - not just an impersonator....and Sharon never showed me her stretch marks....therefore they do not exist!ha!